Uncle Coochie and His Mule, Johnny Pearl

Uncle Coochie, His Mule And A Mole

Now, one hot June day Uncle Coochie was plowing a field with his favorite mule, Johnny Pearl. Uncle Coochie’s daddy, Ossie was plowing an adjoining field at the same time with their other mule, Ruby. Both fields were on the south side of the Monkey Ranch not too awful far from the house where they all lived. Rain was forecasted for the end of the week and Uncle Ossie wanted to get the peanuts planted before that rain.

Coochie and Johnny Pearl had been plowing since first light that morning and the sun had climbed high enough in the sky to make both Coochie and the mule to break a sweat. They had plowed just about halfway down the row when old Johnny Pearl stopped in her tracks. Coochie made a “chick chick” sound with his mouth telling Johnny Pearl to get moving. She turned and looked back at Coochie as if to say, “Cool your heels, I ain’t moving until I gets done taking care of business.

Coochie understood that look and knew he just needed to relax and wait on mother nature. Johnny Pearl lifted her tail and proceeded to relieve her load.

Coochie was leaning on his plow and looking at the shiney, black dirt that had just been turned up by the plow. As he lazily gazed at the ground, he saw something wiggling in the fresh dirt. We reached down and grabbed that little creature noting that he has a handful of a ground mole. He held that mole up and with his other hand knocked away the loose dirt. Now, that mole was, of course, not used to the bright daylight, was squirming mightily in Coochie’s grip. As you can see, it didn’t take much to entertain Coochie.

As he marveled at his new found friend, he noticed that Johnny Pearl had finished her “business” and was giving it her last little push to make sure everything was all clear. You all know that as a mule finishes up this exercise the cheeks of the mule’s ass does a little quiver, or two. AS those butt cheeks quivered Coochie looked at that mules ass and then down at that mole and suddenly Coochie was overcome with an idea that neither Johnny Pearl or the mole would enjoy. With a big old grin Coochie reached out and stuck the moles head in that hole underneath the mule’s tail.

Well, instantly that mole did what moles do in a dark place. He went to digging his way up that hole in as much of a hurry as his little mole claws would go. Johnny Pearl freaked out, jumped the row and took off across the field. What a sight! That mule jumping and a bucking, the plow bouncing of the dirt and flying in the air behind that crazed mule. Coochie just watched with his jaw hanging open.

In the middle of all the frenzy, Uncle Ossie come running up to Coochie. “Coochie, what in the world has gotten into Johnny Pearl?”

“I don’t know, Daddy. She’s acting like she’s got a mole up her ass.”

Getting any more plowing done that day was a lost cause. And, them peanuts did not get planed before the rain came.

Just another day of Monkey Ranch Life!