How are y’all! I am so glad to see y’all drop by! I’m Boss Monkey—founder, head storyteller, and lead critter.
relocator here at The Monkey Ranch. Born and raised in the Pee Dee region of South Carolina during the 1950s and 60s, I grew up in a bustling household as the fourth of six children, making us a lively family of eight. My twin brother, holding the third spot in our family’s pecking order, and I were often affectionately dubbed “Death and Destruction” whenever we appeared together. Having a twin meant always having a playmate, a partner in crime, and a ready accomplice for every wild idea that sprang to mind. When we played cowboys and Indians, we had a built-in posse, dedicated to suppressing lawlessness, protecting property, and saving the day—at least until suppertime.
Our boyhood was a tapestry of adventures: exploring the untamed stretches of Lake Swamp, occasionally setting the yard ablaze (strictly for scientific research, of course), and collecting whippings like they were merit badges. Life was good—muddy, smoky, and brimming with adventure. Growing up in the 50’s and 60’s, we lived our own version of the Monkey Ranch life, immersing ourselves in the natural wonders and simple pleasures of rural South Carolina. So, you see, I’ve been steeped in this way of life from the very beginning.
After college, I ventured into the banking world, Blessed with a peculiar knack for issuing bad, non- performing loans. Fortunately, this was balanced by an equal talent for collecting past-due payments and, when necessary, initiating foreclosures. Each day brought a new excuse, a fresh tale, and a reminder that nobody can vanish quite like a borrower with a delinquent account.
Eventually, as folks started paying their loans on time—sapping the fun out of the job—I traded spreadsheets for split-rail fences and founded The Monkey Ranch, a little slice of chaos nestled against the Waccamaw River. These days, I spend my time wrangling raccoons, caning chairs, tinkering in the woodshop, and sharing stories designed to make you laugh, ponder, or at least feel better about your own mess.
Since hanging up my banking spurs, I’ve been relishing life on The Monkey Ranch with my wife, entertaining our children, and imparting the finer points of Monkey Ranch living to our fourteen grandchildren. Our backyard and the woods beyond serve as the stage for a nightly parade of bears, raccoons, possums, foxes, a bobcat, and the occasional coyote or two. I keep one eye on ‘em—and the Monkey Ranch trail camera keeps the other eye on ‘em.
Through this website, our YouTube channel, and a healthy dose of old-fashioned gossip, we’re eager to share the wonders of it all with y’all. So come by often, pull up a seat, and spend some time with us. We always love having you.
Oh, and before I get back to other Monkey Ranch shenanigans, we’re working on a Monkey Ranch.
Podcast to share even more stories with you. Stay tuned—it’ll be here soon.
When people ask about the Monkey Ranch I am always thrilled to ask them, “Have you got a few minutes to listen?” Then, I launch into a diatribe that, in reality, has no ending. Let me show you what I mean. Southern folklore and Traditional folk art are at the heart of every story shared here at the Monkey Ranch.
You’ll find the Monkey Ranch way down South somewhere between the Waccamaw River and, as Cooter calls it, the Edge of America—more commonly referred to as the Atlantic Ocean. It’s the kind of place where Southern folklore isn’t just remembered, it’s lived daily, right alongside DIY homesteading ideas passed down for generations.
If you look to the south, the Monkey Ranch wanders as far as your mind’s eye can see (or not see). Same thing goes when you look to the east and when you look to the west. There is no need to look to the north. There just ain’t nothing there that you need to bother looking at or thinking about. Here in this open stretch of land, many of our homemade craft ideas are inspired by the simplicity and flat expanse of the coastal plain, ideal for exploring DIY animal traps that respect nature.
When your mind’s eye spans the panorama of the Monkey Ranch, you see tall, swaying pine trees. And yes, the pine trees on the Monkey Ranch are whispering pines. Yes, they really whisper. Among them, the occasional pop of color from our reclaimed wood crafts stands out, crafted from old barns and fencing left behind by time. It’s also the perfect backdrop for how to trap a possum guides, filmed right in our woods.
You know that with tall, swaying, whispering pines, the forest floor is deeply carpeted with pine straw. I know, it’s “pine needles” up north, but I already told you the Monkey Ranch ain’t got a north. That soft forest floor is where we often teach kids and guests how to make a wooden rabbit trap or explore the quiet art of humane live traps, always guided by the principles of self-sufficient living.
There is a creek that traverses the Monkey Ranch. At times, the gently flowing creek is more properly described as a ditch, but creek just sounds more pastoral and is a more alluring read. Along its edge, we often set up the best wildlife cameras to watch critters come and go—perfect testing grounds for recommending the best trail cam setups to capture nature’s subtle moments.
Mixed in with the pines are a variety of oak, poplar, and other trees, big and small, where our plethora (a bunch) of wildlife live and play. From raccoons to rabbits, it’s where we pick up our best raccoon trapping tips and sometimes spot clever critters evading even the best live bait trap. It’s all part of the daily rhythm at the Ranch—a rhythm steeped in tradition, nature, and a bit of backwoods know-how.
You will find squirrels, rabbits, possums, deer, wild turkeys, foxes, a bobcat and a mama bear and her three bears. I put a trail camera on a pine tree so I have photographic evidence that all of these animals really are real. The only skunks that I have had any contact with are all two-legged and I’ve got pictures of some of them, too, thanks to the best trail camera for wildlife we’ve ever used.
All of these creatures live together on the Monkey Ranch sharing all kinds of steps and missteps—some funny and some, of course, not funny, and still more that are neither. Let me point out that these creatures are an amazing blend of both two-legged and four-legged wonders. Well, if you include Uncle Ossie, we can stretch that to include three-legged too, if you count his walking stick. Understand that Uncle Ossie doesn’t move without it. He went out after a snow one winter and the people went on for months about those weird, never-seen-before tracks in the snow. So, being careful to err on the side of caution, we wouldn’t be lying to claim two-legged, three-legged, and four-legged Monkey Ranch occupants. It’s all part of that old-time charm—and draws from a rich tradition of Southern folklore.
When people ask about the Monkey Ranch, I am always thrilled to ask them, “Have you got a few minutes to listen?” Then, I launch into a diatribe that, in reality, has no ending. Let me show you what I mean. It’s stories like these that remind us of the value of short humorous stories passed down through generations.
Now, ”Monkey” in Monkey Ranch refers to all the amazing people that are a part of it. But, not to be misleading, there are no monkeys on Monkey Ranch. If that is a bit confusing, you are welcome! See, the people can talk and the animals can’t talk. There are times when I think things would make more sense if the animals could do the talking. I am certain this old world would be a kinder place. You see, here, the animals get to be the people, and the people get to be the animals. That is what makes it so much fun—something we try to capture in our traditional folk art pieces around the ranch.
Either way, talk or no talk, two-legged or four-legged, all make the Monkey Ranch a magical, amazing, wonderful place. (Oh yeah, please don’t leave out Uncle Ossie). And in true self-sufficient living spirit, everybody—man or beast—pulls their own weight out here.
Now that’s all I’m gonna tell y’all about the Monkey Ranch “people.” You’ll have to hang around to figure the rest on your own. Believe me. You will have a ball and always be in a hurry to come back. It’s not just a visit—it’s a dive into DIY homesteading projects disguised as play.
Everyone asks for a description of the Monkey Ranch. Kind of a lay-of-the-land question. Let me try: If you look to the south, the Monkey Ranch wanders as far as your mind’s eye can see (or not). Same goes when you look to the east and when you look to the west. There is no need to look to the north. There just ain’t nothing there that you need to bother looking at. We are still in awe of how our magnificent Creator could get Hell to burn in a frozen tundra, but, move on. That, folks, is just one of the many old-time survival skills—knowing where to look and when to look away.
When your mind’s eye spans the panorama of the Monkey Ranch you see tall, swaying pine trees. And yes, the pine trees on the Monkey Ranch are whispering pines. Yes, they really whisper. You know that with tall, swaying, whispering pines, the forest floor is deeply carpeted with pine straw. I know, it’s “pine needles” up north, but I already told you the Monkey Ranch ain’t got a north. That scene alone has inspired many of our handmade decorations made from materials found right here in the woods.
Of course there is a creek that traverses the Monkey Ranch. At times, the gently flowing creek trickles down to a ditch, but “creek” just sounds more pastoral. Mixed in with the pines are a variety of oak, poplar and other trees, big and small, where our plethora (see, I know some big words) of wildlife, real—not imagined—live and play. You see, we have squirrels, rabbits, possums, deer, wild turkeys, foxes, a bobcat and a mama bear and her three bears. I put a trail camera on a pine tree so I have photographic evidence that all of these animals are really real. The only skunks that I have had any contact with are all two-legged. It’s also the perfect environment to practice humane animal trapping when needed—always with care and respect.
So you see, The Monkey Ranch and its occupants are very real and they really do interact in the most magical way. My job is to tell the story—sometimes with a camera, sometimes with a tale, and other times with a reclaimed wood craft made from what the land gives us.
