The Conundrum Crisis: Why Thinkin’ Feels Like Crawlin’ Through a Briar Patch
Ever had one of them days where your brain just throws up its hands and walks clean out the door? Yeah, me too. That, my friends, is called a conundrum—and it ain’t just some fancy word. It’s a full-blown, daily disaster.
From itchy skin to lies on street signs, today we’re diving deep into the struggle of thinkin’ faster than your brain can work.
A Monkey Ranch Front Porch Confession
Hey, y’all—welcome back to The Monkey Ranch!
I been missin’ y’all, and I know y’all been missin’ me too!
Today, we’re talkin’ about a most distressin’ issue—one we all deal with every single day but rarely stop to think about, consider, ponder, or study on.
So let’s roll up our sleeves and get our hands dirty.
Let’s Talk About… CONUNDRUMS
I hear what y’all are thinkin’:
“Not today. Not conundrums. We never think about it, and we sure as heck don’t wanna talk about it!”
Well, too bad. You been dodgin’ it your whole life—but not today.
Now, the dictionary says a conundrum is a confusing and difficult issue.
But real life says:
“Hell no. It’s a daily confrontation. A full-on invasion of your sanity.”
It knocks you flat. Leaves you staring into space like a deer in the headlights.
It makes you:
- Feel like you need an emergency potty break.
- Scratch like you got fleas.
- Suddenly grow ingrown toenails.
- Feel like you just poured ice water on a bad molar.
And worst of all?
You start questionin’ everything:
- Do I turn left or turn loose?
- Do I stand up or sit down?
- Am I here or am I there?
- Does my breath stink?
- Did I just leave an embarrassin’ stain on the seat of my pants?!
It’s Mental Mayhem, Y’all
A conundrum doesn’t just confuse you—it desecrates your mind.
It steals whatever self-esteem you didn’t even know you had.
It’s the shingles of your attitude.
You find yourself askin’:
“Was that a great question because of the answer, or was that a great answer because of the question?”
I think I just wet my pants again.
And let’s talk geography, ‘cause it ain’t just our brains that lie—it’s road signs too.
In Florence, SC, the road that runs 15 miles to Pamplico is called the Pamplico Highway.
But in Pamplico? That same road is called the Florence Highway.
Now, somebody’s LYIN’—and we all know a lie is an abomination unto the Lord!
Time to Reflect (And Maybe Retreat)
After all this, I feel like I just crawled through a briar patch—scratched up, tangled up, tied up, and still not one inch closer to clarity.
So what do we do? Is there a cure for the Conundrum Crisis?
The answer is YES.
The 2-Step Cure for Conundrums
Step 1: Stop rubbin’ on salve. Rub on some BENEDICTION instead.
Now, I have no earthly idea where you can buy a tube of benediction. I’d start with Googlin’ it. Good luck.
Step 2: Learn to think with BOTH HANDS.
What does that mean? Simple:
- On one hand, this whole conundrum thing is evil, gut-wrenchin’, and relentless.
- On the other hand, it ain’t made me bleed, ain’t made me dead, and it sure as heck ain’t goin’ away.
So here we are.
Front Porch Wisdom
My daddy used to tell me:
“Son, since you ain’t ever gonna amount to nothin’, why do you try so hard?”
And when it came to problems that wouldn’t go away, he’d say:
“Son, that’s why they make so much money sellin’ liquor and Rolaids.”
That’s Monkey Ranch wisdom—proudly displayed on the front porch.
Final Thoughts
This’ll give us somethin’ to talk about next time you stop by.
Until then… just live with it.
“People prefer the certainty of misery over the misery of uncertainty.”
Amen and pass the Rolaids.